The hardest but most rewarding things we can do in life are having a long-term committed relationship and being a parent.  When relationship difficulties arise, problems are common, and stress over these events can be overwhelming.  However, hope is always there, and resolution of these issues are possible.  

What makes a healthy relationship?  These are central in learning during counseling for a long-lasting relationship.

     1.  Tell your partner what you need, do not make them guess. 
     
     2.  Take note of your partner’s nonverbal cues. 

     3.  Be a good listener. 

     4.  Recognize what is important to your partner. 

     5.  Don’t make “winning” your goal. 

     6.  Learn how to respectfully resolve conflict.

As you go through the counseling process, you are able to see the growth and understand what was missing, what happened, and how you are able and willing to repair and rebuild the communication, connection, and trust of self and each other.  It is never easy to begin this journey but as you grow and learn your connection becomes stronger and truly wonderful. 

Substance abuse can have a devastating and traumatic impact on self and others. Treatment for drug and alcohol abuse has been researched extensively and provide positive interventions toward change and impacting the individual and those around them.  From this research, it has been shown that triggering issues such as depression, anxiety, or trauma may have a causative effect on substance abuse. Treatment can be utilized effectively to address these underlying issues as well as the actual substance abuse.  

From research it has been demonstrated that physical addiction is one variant of substance abuse. Emotional and spiritual stressors are also evident even after a person goes through detox. Thus, learning to managing these issues as well as other stressors are central in order to have any level of success from the entanglement of substance abuse. 

Counseling via a Cognitive Behavioral process allows you to address these issues particularly feelings, thoughts, and situation which factor into potential relapse. When engaged in treatment, you are able to begin a journey of healing which not only replaces the toxic thoughts and feelings but provides the opportunity of a healthy, sober, and exciting new life.

Sexual health can be defined as a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being
related to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction, or infirmity. Most people are uncomfortable discussing sexual issues and health despite the prevalence of sexual issues on television, social media, and the Internet. The struggle seems to center on “What is healthy sex?” and “Am I normal in my beliefs and interests?”  With the influence of the Internet, social media, and advertising, accessibility to sex and the dysfunctional understanding and impact only adds to the confusion and inappropriate learning for our children as well as interfering within interpersonal relationships.

Your struggle can be influential in your daily interactions with others, your interpersonal and intimate relationships, and
your attitude regarding sex in general. Some have made unhealthy sexual decisions which have become criminal and destructive in their relationships and society. Counseling can provide hope and direction in addressing these issues. Research has shown that those who engage in specific sexual counseling can greatly reduce and construct a healthier way of thinking and decision making which leads to much better choices. By addressing these issues with someone who is trained, non-judgmental, and understanding of these concerns, you can be assisted to find relief of your stress, emotional turmoil, developing healthy thinking patterns, and stop the destructive nature of your behavior.  It is important to understand that “sex isn’t the problem; it’s our attitude and knowledge about sex that leads to our choices regarding sex.”

“Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are.” — Theodore Roosevelt

Life is full of daily stressors.  We cannot seem to go without a day of some type of situation or conflict which begs for our attention and action.  However, many people have a variety of methods they utilize to handle stress.  Unfortunately, this results in the development of anxiety and even depression.  These compounding conditions only harden and increase your stress level which becomes a circular pattern in your life.  Sometimes this can bring a person to act out their feelings toward others and possibly toward themselves.  Remember:  Life events and/or a chemical imbalance can bring on stress leading to depression and anxiety.  However, many people are afraid or believe they are “weak” if they “can’t handle it on their own.”  This type of thinking only isolates and increases your condition to the point of possible despair.  

If you are struggling with increased stressors causing greater anxiety and depression, please allow yourself to seek help in order to alleviate and learn healthier ways to cope.  Cognitive Behavioral treatments have been shown to work wonders and are effective treatment interventions in order for you to regain control.  Clinical Depression and Anxiety with periods of sadness are not the same!  Give yourself permission to take care of you.  

Parents are concerned and focused on making sure their children are healthy and grow up to live a productive and stable life. Most are active and attempt to learn about them, their habits, friends, and concerns. However, as your children grow, they tend to focus more on their peers and less with you. This does not necessarily mean they don’t find you important, they are “stretching their independence and learning to socialize and find their place.”

Children and teens are confronted with a variety of challenges which are not always pleasant and can be rather stressful and difficult. They seek advice from their friends but also want to have direction from their parents. Sometimes this is difficult for them to do… they could be fearful of how their parent will respond or concerned how their parent would perceive them. Parents are an important part of their children’s life. Counseling can assist both the child, teen, and parent to help better understand and assist in the development of healthier relationships and problem resolution.

It is not uncommon for the child or teen to be guarded even skeptical in the initial phase of counseling. Building a positive and understanding therapeutic relationship with them is imperative for growth. As sessions progress, they begin to be more involved and addressing issues and concerns along with having their parent(s) join to help in understanding them and their issues. In fact, parents have been told by their child at times “I’m glad everyone came in because I wasn’t the main problem.”

For a little assistance, here are some tips from Childmind.org to help with your child… and there are more to come during counseling to assist everyone:

1. Listen. If you are curious about what is going on in your teen’s life, asking direct questions might not be as effective as simply sitting back and listening. Kids are more likely to be open with their parents if they don’t feel pressured to share information.

2. Validate their feelings. It is often our tendency to try to solve problems for our kids or downplay their disappointments. However, a more effective approach is focusing on empathy and understanding their concerns by reflecting their feelings and showing that you understand.

3. Show trust. Teens want to be taken seriously, especially by their parents. Look for ways to show that you trust your teen.
Example: Asking them for a favor shows that you rely on them.

4. Don’t be a dictator. You still get to set the rules but be ready to explain them. While pushing the boundaries is natural for teenagers, hearing your thoughtful explanation about why parties on school nights are not allowed will make the rule seem more reasonable.

5. Give praise. Parents tend to praise children more when they are younger, but adolescents need the self-esteem boost just as much.

6. Control your emotions. It is easy for your temper to flare when your teen is being rude, but do not respond in kind. Remember that you are the adult, and he is less able to control his emotions or think logically when he is upset.

7. Do things together. Talking is not the only way to communicate, and during these years it’s great if you can spend time doing things you both enjoy, whether it’s cooking or hiking or going to the movies, without talking about anything personal.

8. Share regular meals. Sitting down to eat a meal together as a family is another great way to stay close. Dinner conversations give every member of the family a chance to check in and talk casually about sports or television or politics.